Now that we have discussed some time management and organization strategies, it’s time to set time aside just for you. How much time do you give yourself each day for self nurturing? If you are like me in my corporate days, you are probably getting a few minutes each week. If you spend most of your waking time working and taking care of others, it’s a must to take time each day taking care of yourself.

Set aside at least twenty to thirty minutes for yourself sometime during the day to spend on something FUN. Just because you are an adult doesn’t mean you have forgotten recess, does it? Unplug and get away from all of those RESPONSIBILITIES and do something you enjoy. For me this means spending twenty minutes before bed listening to my favorite relaxing CD and hitting the yoga mat for a nice light stretching routine. This is strictly ME time and I feel comfortable in shutting the door and asking not to be disturbed. I started this routine about a year ago with a DVD called Meditation for Beginners by Gaiam. It has an easy 15 minute yoga routine followed by a 20 minute relaxation exercise and a 20 minute guided meditation. If you have never done yoga or meditation and want to give it a try, I highly recommend this DVD. I’ve been doing it for so long that I have it memorized and can do it to my favorite CD.

Now if yoga and meditation are just not your thing, find something that works for you. It does not matter what you do as long as it is something that you enjoy. If getting this started is difficult for you, begin by making a list of activities that you enjoy. Try to come up with at least ten things you enjoy that can be done in 20-30 minutes and pick one each day. Here is a sample list of things I enjoy:

Walking outdoors on a nature trail, in a botanical garden, or even a stroll around the neighborhood park.

Reading a good old trashy romance paperback or suspense novel outdoors on the back porch, in a great big comfortable chair, or any other favorite cozy place.

Reading spirit nurturing books or listening to audio lectures by my favorite authors Wayne Dyer, Victoria Moran, or Alexandra Stoddard.

Watching a television show that stimulates the mind (cooking shows, gardening and home shows, PBS specials, Science, Discovery, and the History Channel programs are some of my favorites)

Taking a yoga, meditation, or FUN exercise class or putting on my favorite CD and dancing around the house (I’m partial to the Lilo & Stitch soundtrack).

Taking a nice long bubble bath with candles and relaxing music and spending time afterward wrapped in a huge fluffy bath sheet relaxing on the bed.

Getting a massage. A thirty minute massage is great; an hour is even better. If a professional massage is not in the budget, trade massages with a loved one or even give yourself a nice foot massage with your favorite scented lotion.

Buying myself a nice small bouquet of flowers and arranging them in a vase, then placing the vase in my office, in the kitchen, by the bed or anywhere I will see them often and enjoy.

Taking a magazine to the local Starbucks or stopping by a bookstore with a cafe and browsing a few titles. Even if I don’t have time much time to spare, I can always pick up something to read at a later date.

Taking a friend to tea. I have a nice little tearoom in my hometown that I just love to spend time in because it is like stepping back in time to a more gracious era.

Going fishing!!! Some of my fondest memories are of my grandfather and me in a boat out on the lake. An hour fishing from the shore can bring me back to that peaceful frame of mind. You know what they say a bad day of fishing is better than a good day at work any day.

I hope these activities piqued your interest or helped you remind you of things you like to do. Take some fun recess time for yourself TODAY!!!

One of the biggest sources of stress for me is clutter and a generally messy looking house. If I start out the day with glasses and cups on the living room tables, empty packs of potato chips on the kitchen counter, shoes everywhere and mail in piles, you can bet my stress-o-meter is going to be sky high.

As I work less hours outside the home than my dear hubby at the moment, I take on the brunt of the household chores. However, I am not the maid and don’t enjoy cleaning up after others. We have implemented the 30-min pick up in the morning before we start the day. This could be done in the evening or the morning, but I have more energy in the morning and find that a tidy house starts my day off on the right foot. The trick is to never let things get so messy that they can’t be reasonably straightened in less than 30 minutes. Do we get this done every day? Heck no, we are normal just like everybody else and the house is just messy sometimes. But the days that start out with this morning routine are usually more peaceful and calm. Here is my morning quick-pickup routine:

Make the bed the minute you get out of it. If you have a good comforter and pillow with shams, (and don’t live with someone who flops around like a fish all night) you can throw it together in less than a minute.

Grab a trash can and make a round sweep of the downstairs (for us an office, dining room, living room and kitchen) clearing all that needs to be thrown away.

Fold blankets & put away, straighten throw pillows, and do a quick vac of the living room.

Unload the dishwasher and have dirty dishes put in throughout the day so that you can turn it on at bedtime.

Straighten any books, magazines, or movies left out and send any toys that have lost their way upstairs to the kids room. When my son was small, we had a toy chest downstairs where he could keep a small group of toys. Those that could not be contained there would go upstairs. Now that he is a teenager, his stuff can go back to his room at the end of the day or at the latest, first thing in the morning.

Use a bottle of all surface spray cleaner and do a quick wipe of all surfaces in the kitchen, dining room, and living room.

Pick up the mail and make a stop at the trash can outside to dispose of all the junk mail and flyers. If it never comes into the house, it can never become clutter. Put the bills and real mail in a basket by the door (or in the office) and any reading material in the office or magazine rack.

Whew!!! Sit down with a well deserved cup of coffee and survey your beautiful sparkling house. Take joy in starting off the day in an organized manner!!!

Once again we’re going to talk about boundaries. Most people who are overworked and overstressed are just simply doing too much. If you were raised like I was to mind your manners, be helpful, be a good boy/girl and let the others go first it can take decades to unlearn these habits. (Not to discount the value of being nice to your fellow humans and love for the world because we all need more of that). There are any number of people who will eventually want a little piece of your time as life goes on. If you have the time to give, more power to you. If you don’t and many times say you do, it’s past time to learn to say no.

Let’s say your son’s teacher once again asks you to chair the annual holiday can drive. You have done it for the last two years and know that even if you have a committee you will be doing all the work. You just don’t have the time to do it this year, but don’t know how to get out of it. Just say no!!! I would love to help, but I can’t chair the committee this year as I have other commitments, Period. End of discussion. Don’t launch into a long dialogue of the reasons you can’t or start to give excuses. This is volunteer work and no you don’t have to do it. If the teacher pressures you or other parents with but you have always done the can drive or the ever popular but you are so good at it, we can’t do it without you just keep repeating your mantra I’m not available this year, I’m not available this year, as many times as it takes to get your message across. Be firm and don’t waffle. You will be so proud of yourself later when some other parent is doing the last minute run around for the can drive and you are at home sipping hot cocoa and enjoying making cookies with your kids. This is in no way being selfish it is a way to start putting your own needs as priorities in your life. This same scenario can be used for the church fundraiser, fall carnival, the committee to better the neighborhood, the sister-in-law who wants you to watch the kids (again), and so on.

An extra note – where you decide to spend your money is another boundary you can work on using the same principles. At least once per month I am bombarded by parents selling trivets, cookie dough, trinkets, or other overpriced things you don’t need for their child’s fund raiser. If you are one of these folks that bring flyers to work and sell for your kids, yes you probably should buy from the others; it’s only fair. I don’t take these to my workplace and don’t hit up friends to buy from my son. (If he wants to sell, I go with him thru the neighborhood and let him sell). In any case, it’s ok to just say No, thank you. Or you can say No thanks, we have our own charities that we donate to. You should probably practice saying no, thank you as you will be using it more and more in the future.

Last year during the holidays I opted out of the many gift swaps by saying “We are simplifying and only exchanging gifts with immediate family this year. Worked great and I was not so stressed about money last year. Remember, all of these are suggestions for decreasing your stress. Take what works for you and leave the rest behind (or just say no???).

Personal time, home time, and family time seem to have gone the way of the rotary dial telephone. However, one of the best ways to start de-stressing your life is to establish some healthy boundaries and begin to experience true down time.

Two of the best new gadgets that have come out in the last few years are caller ID and voice mail. Most people already have these and if you don’t, I would suggest investing the few dollars it takes to add this service. Now the hard part of this is training the family and having the self discipline to actually begin setting house rules on private time.

Schedule time after work each day when you don’t answer the phone, pager, or e-mail. Better yet, put all devices on silent and let all calls go to voice mail for that time. Start with an hour during dinner and slowly expand that time to include most of the hours after work. Decide which calls automatically go to voice mail in the evenings if you do decide to leave the ringer on. Most everyone in my family knows not to answer work related calls for me after 5pm unless they ask first. (The call I got last evening at 8pm from my boss was answered by my dear hubby before he checked the caller ID. I would have let it go to voice mail.) If there is an urgent issue, the person can leave a voice mail and I can decide if it is an urgent matter for me. Remember someone else’s lack of planning does not make a matter your emergency!

For kids and teens, set ground rules for telephone conversations during dinnertime, homework time, and after a certain hour in the evenings. I don’t take kindly to folks calling my house after 9pm. It was considered rude when I was a kid and I still think it is rude today. Call me old fashioned if you must. I also don’t mind giving a free lesson in manners to any kid who calls my house after 9pm!!! It’s never too early to learn good habits.

I will be covering the importance of self-nurturing in a later article, but for now make sure you use at least some of this unplugged time to begin connecting with your family, your friends, or to spend some much needed time on YOU, not for laundry catch up, paying the bills, or other have-to’s.