No matter what your religious affiliation, inside of your body there is a soul that craves nourishment. Time spent reading material that inspires and touches you will enhance your stress management efforts. There are several authors I have found that stir my spirit each time I read their books or listen to audio CD’s of their great ideas. I keep a special handwritten journal of quotes from many of these books and add to the material when I find something special. I use the computer for most of my writing and correspondence, but find that writing by hand in this journal gives me time to slow down and give each quote proper time and attention. In times when I am spirit-hungry, I can pick up this journal and use these words to stimulate my soul.

Even reading time in small bits and pieces can invigorate me. One of my favorite authors, Victoria Moran, writes her books in short chapters that can be enjoyed anywhere. The first book I read by her is still my favorite: Lit from Within. It sits in a very prominent place where I usually go to sit a number of times per day (depending on how much water I have consumed) and each time I pick up this little book of wisdom I am blessed by reading just a few pages. I have two copies – one in hardback that I shared with my Mom and the other in the powder room that was signed by the author. Another favorite from her is Shelter for the Spirit. I have this on CD and listen to it when I am home alone puttering around in the kitchen or doing a downstairs straightening. It keeps my spirits up while I perform tasks around the house as it is all about making the home a haven.

I spend a lot of time in my car as I travel between two hospitals to see patients. I keep audio lectures by Dr. Wayne Dyer in the car to listen to during that commute time. I enjoy reading his books, but prefer to listen to his longer lectures on CD. I have Secrets of an Inspirational (In-Spirit) Life in my car and have listened to it a number of times. Although I probably have most of it memorized by now, I still enjoy listening to it! It helps me to stay focused on what is important in life and keeps me positive even in trying times. This program is also especially good for examining difficult life events in a different light and reframing your feelings and responses to those events.

Another favorite book is Gracious Living in a New World by Alexandra Stoddard. This was the first of many of her books that I have read and still the favorite that I go back to time after time. This particular book looks at how to make life special in each and every moment. Some reviewers have labeled this author pretentious, but I enjoy her work.

Just a few suggestions to get you started. Of course, if none of these authors seem to inspire you, keep looking. We are all individuals and enjoy different authors and styles. Just remember to spend some time nurturing your soul.

Now that we have discussed some time management and organization strategies, it’s time to set time aside just for you. How much time do you give yourself each day for self nurturing? If you are like me in my corporate days, you are probably getting a few minutes each week. If you spend most of your waking time working and taking care of others, it’s a must to take time each day taking care of yourself.

Set aside at least twenty to thirty minutes for yourself sometime during the day to spend on something FUN. Just because you are an adult doesn’t mean you have forgotten recess, does it? Unplug and get away from all of those RESPONSIBILITIES and do something you enjoy. For me this means spending twenty minutes before bed listening to my favorite relaxing CD and hitting the yoga mat for a nice light stretching routine. This is strictly ME time and I feel comfortable in shutting the door and asking not to be disturbed. I started this routine about a year ago with a DVD called Meditation for Beginners by Gaiam. It has an easy 15 minute yoga routine followed by a 20 minute relaxation exercise and a 20 minute guided meditation. If you have never done yoga or meditation and want to give it a try, I highly recommend this DVD. I’ve been doing it for so long that I have it memorized and can do it to my favorite CD.

Now if yoga and meditation are just not your thing, find something that works for you. It does not matter what you do as long as it is something that you enjoy. If getting this started is difficult for you, begin by making a list of activities that you enjoy. Try to come up with at least ten things you enjoy that can be done in 20-30 minutes and pick one each day. Here is a sample list of things I enjoy:

Walking outdoors on a nature trail, in a botanical garden, or even a stroll around the neighborhood park.

Reading a good old trashy romance paperback or suspense novel outdoors on the back porch, in a great big comfortable chair, or any other favorite cozy place.

Reading spirit nurturing books or listening to audio lectures by my favorite authors Wayne Dyer, Victoria Moran, or Alexandra Stoddard.

Watching a television show that stimulates the mind (cooking shows, gardening and home shows, PBS specials, Science, Discovery, and the History Channel programs are some of my favorites)

Taking a yoga, meditation, or FUN exercise class or putting on my favorite CD and dancing around the house (I’m partial to the Lilo & Stitch soundtrack).

Taking a nice long bubble bath with candles and relaxing music and spending time afterward wrapped in a huge fluffy bath sheet relaxing on the bed.

Getting a massage. A thirty minute massage is great; an hour is even better. If a professional massage is not in the budget, trade massages with a loved one or even give yourself a nice foot massage with your favorite scented lotion.

Buying myself a nice small bouquet of flowers and arranging them in a vase, then placing the vase in my office, in the kitchen, by the bed or anywhere I will see them often and enjoy.

Taking a magazine to the local Starbucks or stopping by a bookstore with a cafe and browsing a few titles. Even if I don’t have time much time to spare, I can always pick up something to read at a later date.

Taking a friend to tea. I have a nice little tearoom in my hometown that I just love to spend time in because it is like stepping back in time to a more gracious era.

Going fishing!!! Some of my fondest memories are of my grandfather and me in a boat out on the lake. An hour fishing from the shore can bring me back to that peaceful frame of mind. You know what they say a bad day of fishing is better than a good day at work any day.

I hope these activities piqued your interest or helped you remind you of things you like to do. Take some fun recess time for yourself TODAY!!!

One of the biggest sources of stress for me is clutter and a generally messy looking house. If I start out the day with glasses and cups on the living room tables, empty packs of potato chips on the kitchen counter, shoes everywhere and mail in piles, you can bet my stress-o-meter is going to be sky high.

As I work less hours outside the home than my dear hubby at the moment, I take on the brunt of the household chores. However, I am not the maid and don’t enjoy cleaning up after others. We have implemented the 30-min pick up in the morning before we start the day. This could be done in the evening or the morning, but I have more energy in the morning and find that a tidy house starts my day off on the right foot. The trick is to never let things get so messy that they can’t be reasonably straightened in less than 30 minutes. Do we get this done every day? Heck no, we are normal just like everybody else and the house is just messy sometimes. But the days that start out with this morning routine are usually more peaceful and calm. Here is my morning quick-pickup routine:

Make the bed the minute you get out of it. If you have a good comforter and pillow with shams, (and don’t live with someone who flops around like a fish all night) you can throw it together in less than a minute.

Grab a trash can and make a round sweep of the downstairs (for us an office, dining room, living room and kitchen) clearing all that needs to be thrown away.

Fold blankets & put away, straighten throw pillows, and do a quick vac of the living room.

Unload the dishwasher and have dirty dishes put in throughout the day so that you can turn it on at bedtime.

Straighten any books, magazines, or movies left out and send any toys that have lost their way upstairs to the kids room. When my son was small, we had a toy chest downstairs where he could keep a small group of toys. Those that could not be contained there would go upstairs. Now that he is a teenager, his stuff can go back to his room at the end of the day or at the latest, first thing in the morning.

Use a bottle of all surface spray cleaner and do a quick wipe of all surfaces in the kitchen, dining room, and living room.

Pick up the mail and make a stop at the trash can outside to dispose of all the junk mail and flyers. If it never comes into the house, it can never become clutter. Put the bills and real mail in a basket by the door (or in the office) and any reading material in the office or magazine rack.

Whew!!! Sit down with a well deserved cup of coffee and survey your beautiful sparkling house. Take joy in starting off the day in an organized manner!!!

We all live stress filled lives. An overload at work, a child that must be picked up early from school for a doctor’s appointment, the jerk in traffic that just cut you off. A thousand little annoyances during the day can lead to a head full of worries by the end of the day. And you still have to make dinner, help the kids with homework, do a load of laundry, and get up and start all over again in the morning. ARRGH!!

So where did all this stress come from? Don’t we have hundreds of nifty little gadgets that have been invented to help save time? Where would we be without the washer and dryer, dishwasher, microwave, and that wonderful computer? We would probably be without that nasty little beeper and always ringing cell phone, also!! We seem to use our saved time to add other things into our lives instead of using this time for much needed rest.

One modern problem related to all of this nifty electronic stuff is that we can never unplug. We are always connected 24/7 and our friends, family, and unfortunately our employers can always reach us. Twenty years ago, most employers would never call an employee at home unless it was a true emergency it was considered an invasion of private time!!! Today, most folks don’t think twice about calling, paging, beeping, or e-mailing any time of day. I myself just got a call on my cell at 8pm last night from my boss asking to get the serial number off of my office key because he needed to have it in a report to turn in tomorrow. Real emergency stuff and never mind that I have already e-mailed him the same information three times!!! We have to ask ourselves how has the world changed so much? The norm is that we allow and expect our home and private time to be interrupted and infringed upon at will.

Instead of coming home from a regular (ha, ha) eight hour workday and relaxing around a nice home cooked dinner and spending time with family a la Leave it to Beaver, the typical day for the average American worker goes something like this:

- Leave work an hour and a half late because the boss had another last minute emergency project that he knew about a week ago but decided TODAY at 3:30 it had to be done before the end of the day.

- Get stuck in traffic due to an accident on the freeway where another poor slob who had the same late workday got in too much of a hurry.

- Spend that time in the car worrying about bills to pay and things that have to be done before the end of the day.

- Stop by the local chicken mc grease fast food restaurant to grab another quick but unhealthy meal because there’s no time to cook.

- Say a quick hello to family members as they all grab a plate of food and run off to their respective rooms, TVs, or computers.

Sit down with a plate and check and respond to all of the e-mails you didn’t get to answer at work because you were so swamped putting out fires while simultaneously helping little Billy with his homework.

- Say a quick goodnight to the kids as you throw in a quick load of laundry, grab a quick shower and drop into bed too exhausted to do more than hug your sweetie and crash.

- Get up the next morning and start it all again.

No wonder we are all stressed out! Many of us have been led to believe that is the way life is supposed to be and we keep on going until we get sick or have a heart attack. Is there something we can do to regain control of our lives? Yes, dear reader, there is.

Ok, time for a short lesson in psychology. We have talked about the many stressors in modern life, but where is the actual stress located? Is the stress located at home, or at work, or on the highway? Nope, try looking a bit closer. Yes folks, it is all in your head.

How we react to events in our life and the beliefs we have about those events affect our stress level. If you have one of those temperaments that leave you fuming every time something doesn’t go your way, this is a good time to learn to reframe your responses and begin lowering your stress level.

Let’s use an example commuting time on the highway. If you begin each day by getting in your car and mumbling and grumbling all the way to work with thoughts of I hate this commute, people in this city can’t drive, I hate my job, I’m going to be late, my boss is a jerk, MY LIFE SUCKS, how do you think you will feel by the time you finally make it to work? You have been letting your mind run rampant awfulizing everything. If you reframe your thinking, you may find a solution. Ask yourself: what are the facts? I have a 45 minute commute every morning. That does not make all of the rest of the thoughts above true or valid. Do I really hate my job? No, most of the time it is OK. Will I be late? Maybe, maybe not, but being late once in a while is not a big deal. So the only actual fact is that I have a 45 minute commute every day. I can choose to spend that time grousing and becoming grumpy or I can choose to spend the commute in a more productive manner. I could spend the time going through my to do list for the day and giving myself an outline/plan for having a successful day, listening to my favorite music and singing along to wake up and get in a great mood for the day, or use the time for listening to a great audio book. I don’t have to spend that time letting my negative thoughts stress me out before the day has even begun!!!

When you begin to watch your inner dialogue, you can catch yourself before your mind has a chance to stray too far into the negative. This takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself. Begin by tuning in to your thoughts throughout the day and notice the overall tone.When negative thoughts crop up and you can’t seem to stop the tirade, visualize a big red stop sign and say STOP to your thoughts. Now work towards re-directing your thoughts towards something positive. You will be treating your mind like an unruly toddler with the stop and distract method. What do you do when a toddler is reaching for something breakable on a table? You say no or stop and redirect the toddler to a basket of toys in the corner. Then you put away the breakable item. Same concept for the mind: stop, redirect/distract, and leave the negative thought behind.

So what do we use to distract? How about thoughts and visualizations of things you love to do? Digging in the sand at the beach, flying a kite in the park, fishing at your favorite river, playing ball with the kids, and so on are thoughts you can turn your attention to. You can also distract by occupying you mind with a book, going for a brisk walk, or calling a friend. Use whatever works for you!!! I will be discussing self nurturing in a later article and some of those activities can also be used to redirect and distract from negative thinking.

Now, what about setting those boundaries at work? It’s pretty easy to ignore the call coming in to your phone from your boss at home, (oops, I must have forgotten to take my cell phone with me to the store) It gets a bit more difficult when the boss is standing in your face! Granted, there are times when you just get stuck at work and have to chip in to help. However, if these times are more often than not and if you seem to be getting the lion’s share of this type of intrusion, it’s time to start to change things.

Have you ever noticed that there are always one or two gung-ho/go-to people on a team and the rest are I can’t handle that/I’m too busy people? I’m guessing if you are reading this you come from the first group. MANY TIMES I have been the git-r-done person on the team and instead of getting thanks all I would end up with was more stuff to do! This leads to resentment and anger towards yourself, your boss, and others on the team (who say they are too busy working, but are generally hanging out gossiping in someone else’s cubicle while you are working furiously trying to get all that stuff done).

Now is the time to start examining your role at work. (Remember – we teach others how to treat us through our own actions.) Of course, no change happens overnight, but there are ways to start making the workload a bit more equitable. If you are uncomfortable with saying no or telling the truth when you are too busy, here are a few tips to get you started. I will be discussing ways to say no and boundary setting in more detail in a later article.

First and foremost, stop volunteering!!! The next time a staff meeting rolls around and the boss asks for a volunteer (and everyone turns around expecting you to jump in as usual) keep quiet and let someone else take a turn. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. When the boss comes by and asks you to do that one more thing, have a to-do list of things you already have on your plate and ask “What would you like me to eliminate from this list to do the new task? I am already at capacity. People may be surprised and even act peeved at you for not chipping in as usual. That’s ok they will get used to it in time. Another situation is when you constantly have to stay late to do that emergency project. Now everyone has these once in a while that’s just the way business works. It’s when the once in awhile turns in to three days per week and you are the only one getting these projects (aren’t you special?) that action needs to be taken. When the boss comes by at 3:30 for the fifth day in a row with an emergency project say Gosh, I’d love to help, but I have a commitment for this afternoon and must leave on time today. If that’s not a strong enough reason for you, have a dentist appointment, parent teacher meeting, dinner meeting, club function, SOMETIHING that you just cannot miss!! With time other folks will begin to get their share of these special projects, leaving you on the way home on time hopefully more days than not. And remember once you hit the door remember to use that caller ID and voice mail!